... until they are standing over the dead body with bloody knife or smoking gun in hand.
I've always wondered about parents who seem to truly believe that their child is perfect in everyway and consistantly bail them out of every problem with no repercussions. Do they think this is a good idea? Do they truly believe their child is totally innocent while looking at the mangled hunk of metal once called the family car or when surrounded by adults saying "no he/she is not, here's the video"?
Back in the day, I went to school with a girl who wrecked a total of 9 cars in a period of three years. It culminated with the dead of her best friend (and ooooo... the rumors on that one said her desire to keep out of trouble actually caused the death) and a quick move to another state. I don't know what ever happened to her, but I'm guessing that little of it was good. Just the guilt would drive me nuts.
On rare occasions, I see it happen and I just want to scream "let them take the consequences now and learn from it before someone dies!" Of course, that wouldn't go over very well... and I'm not saying that that every incident is going to end in death, but what as a teacher do you say? I'm talking about any kind of behavior - total rudeness that is thought to be funny, sexual harrassment, provocative dressing, bullying, drugs/alcohol. How do you tell a parent that their actions may be hurting their child when that protection instinct is so strong? You're watching a particular behavior escalate and it's going no where good, but the perpetrator keeps getting the message that Mommy and/or Daddy will fix it all and everyone else is just wrong for wanting to stop the behavior.
I've always wondered about parents who seem to truly believe that their child is perfect in everyway and consistantly bail them out of every problem with no repercussions. Do they think this is a good idea? Do they truly believe their child is totally innocent while looking at the mangled hunk of metal once called the family car or when surrounded by adults saying "no he/she is not, here's the video"?
Back in the day, I went to school with a girl who wrecked a total of 9 cars in a period of three years. It culminated with the dead of her best friend (and ooooo... the rumors on that one said her desire to keep out of trouble actually caused the death) and a quick move to another state. I don't know what ever happened to her, but I'm guessing that little of it was good. Just the guilt would drive me nuts.
On rare occasions, I see it happen and I just want to scream "let them take the consequences now and learn from it before someone dies!" Of course, that wouldn't go over very well... and I'm not saying that that every incident is going to end in death, but what as a teacher do you say? I'm talking about any kind of behavior - total rudeness that is thought to be funny, sexual harrassment, provocative dressing, bullying, drugs/alcohol. How do you tell a parent that their actions may be hurting their child when that protection instinct is so strong? You're watching a particular behavior escalate and it's going no where good, but the perpetrator keeps getting the message that Mommy and/or Daddy will fix it all and everyone else is just wrong for wanting to stop the behavior.
Comments
It's especially hard when people in the public eye so rarely take responsibility, or spin it when they do. My soon-to-be 15 year old parses her words, and requires me to parse mine, in a Clintonian fashion that she could only have learned from the media-- what does "is" mean?
Responsibilty in exchange for rights-- sounds quaint, doesn't it?
Good post-- thought provoking.