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I am a MEAN teacher

I wanted to be the mean teacher in the beginning of the year, but I think I've taken it too far... I dunno... I can just seem myself doing things that I really don't want to do, but can't figure out how to do. For example, today during the last period the students were especially hyper. Some genius decided that a fire drill would be a great idea 3 minutes before a period ended. This meant that the next period had students straggling in for about 15 minutes after the period was suppose to start. And after a good quarter to half mile hike in the freezing weather, they were completely spazzy. Get everyone calmed down and on task takes forever... Students who are able to control themselves start reading books after 5 minutes of waiting.

I begin the lesson about symbolism - great topic. Desperately wish I could pop in the Napoleon Dynamite movie like certain classes have. We get involved discussion trying to find the symbolism in various poems... I can hear student "Bob" talking to someone 4 rows away in the background - ask him to stop talking. Move to his proximity - he tries to tell me a story about some horrific accident he saw; I ask what this has to do with Robert Frost. He replies that it have no relationship, but it's "a really cool story." I desperately want to roll eyes, but move on to the comedian in the front who is about to kill the tweaker (it's the first time this week he's made it more than 10 minutes in class without being kicked out). Apparently his tap dance is driving the comedian crazy and she must now destroy him loudly with her wit... too bad most of it is over his head. "Bob" is now telling the story to the person in front of him.

We move on to another poem, after 2 minutes of waiting for everyone to settle down again. I like discussion in the classroom, but this class can usually only get one or two ideas out before 4 or 5 people start yelling out ideas or random remarks. I say a silent prayer that burritos were on the menu yesterday - one fart would cause total pandemonium from which there would be no recovery.

"Bob" tries to start talking to 3 new people - they shut him down for fear of staying after class. I hand out a poem to the students, telling them that the symbol is the title. They need to read the poem to find out what it is the symbol for. Those around "Bob" have no idea what to do, because Bob is telling another story.

After a few minutes, we get back together to figure out what the symbol represents. The comedian tells it represents a weed - it's very hard for me to say in a neutral tone that a dandelion is a weed, thus can't be a symbol for one. Also, a weed is not an emotion or global issue... no matter what your father says about them ruining the lawn.

I start to read out sections of the poem in an effort to look at certain parts. How many actually read the first time? No clue - to busy keeping the tweaker from wandering around the room, the social outcast from getting hit and the comedian from screeching out "I know! I know!" at the top of her lungs.

"Bob" IS STILL TALKING!! I've asked him to stop approximately 9 times (that VP from Ferris Bueller rings in my head... "Niiiinnnne times"). As I'm reading a passage, I add in a line - "Bob, get out!" As he walks by me.. I mutter "Stay in the hall." This is probably a relief for him because it means he's not going to ISS. Everything settles after that, but there's only 15 minutes.

I know I shouldn't let it get that far, but A. I can't have him sit in the hall for the entire period. B. Can't send him to the office C. parents are no help D. talked to him in private until I'm blue in the face E. done lunch dentention F.sitting away from others is not possible - they're full; and distance has no meaning for him... what am I supposed to do with him?

Comments

M.B.S. said…
It seems like I've been in this situation at least once every day. I'm considered a "strong personality," able to keep order in tough classes. Still, some students have a way of pushing teacher buttons like an annoying sibbling who won't stay on his "side" of the car for a ten-hour trip to grandma's. I'm impressed that you didn't actually roll your eyes!

You can visit my blog, if you want, at maccaroni.blogspot.com.

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