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According to student gossip, my class is hard. I actually expect that reading will be done as homework and assignments are completed - there are a lot of assignments. I teach literary vocabulary and expect that students use it and use it correctly. I demand paragraphs that include at least 5 sentences and refuse to give full credit for those that are not even if the answer is correct. I demand that students speak properly, are nice to each other and make them wash (and sandpaper) all desks if they swear in class. I don't suffer fools or lazy ejits gladly. The list goes on and adds up to me being a total hardass bitch.

This has also resulted in what appears to be somewhat of a flight from my classes. My afternoon classes are frightfully small. I know I should be grateful and just shut up about it - but there are also teachers who have 30+ students for the same class, same period. So then my mind starts working over time. Should I dumb these afternoon classes down? Or all the classes? (other teachers at the school have told me no - but they aren't in the classes) Will I be hired back for next year? Do I even want to come back next year? Rumor has it that this year's 8th graders are even worse!

Yesterday I totally lost it with one of my classes. 5 period now has only 14 people. Great right? Wrong. The majority have no work ethic and very few actual skills. While the other freshmen classes read Chapt. 2 outloud - this class started the book reading silently, because after two days of reading homework (seriously, how hard is it to read Chpt. 1 of The Hobbit?) only one student had gotten beyond the title. Even the few higher level students are dragged down. I basically screamed at them and said "fine, read Chapt.1 and answer questions - it's all you want to do anyways." After screaming at them, my para came in to ask about helping someone read - at which point I was too pissed off to even suggest someone and basically said that they needed to try first. I was on a punishment roll.

15 minutes later, I kicked a student out for reading an AR book. She refuses to even try to read or even ask for help for that matter. She's decided that she can't do it and isn't going to. My brilliant reaction is to kick her out. Sheer genius, I tell you.

Now, it's 4 o'clock in the morning and I'm having stress nightmares about school. Why am I doing this again?

Addendum: I just applied for a job at a fancy-pants boarding school (which I seriously doubt I will get) - I am not feeling good about yesterday. Which is really sad, because the rest of my classes went so well with forming reading groups and actually getting into some critical thinking about what they've read... while reading it!

Comments

Tamara said…
WOW, slow down, take a breath, and remind yourself why you went into teaching. I can only hope it was because you wanted to work with young people, help them, guide them. If you went into teaching because you are a literati who was hoping that your students would sit around the room and speak freely and openly about literature...well, time to rethink, which is 100% ok to do.

Remember, our kids don't know HOW to talk literature. They don't know how to budget time. They have everyone in their lives at this age telling them what to do, when to do it, how to do it, why to do it...you get the point.

If they are freshman, I think it is unrealistic to think they will read on their own, and even if they do, how can you guide their reading. YOu need to read in class, discuss while you read, point things out, clarify. THAT is our job as English teachers. And, when we do it well, even those who hate English class will learn SOMETHING. This, I am confident about.

Maybe you could try using a book on tape? I am watching a colleague do this with "House on Mango Street" right now and the kids are very responsive to the audio.

Maybe the school you're at isn't your style, your fit. However, running to a private school may not be the answer. Do you know how snotty private schools are :) Oh, and usually private schools expect more and pay you less. Whatever your decision, I wish you the best as you get past this hump. Oh, and one more thing, the next time you feel yourself reaching boiling point, simply stop, take a breath, and switch gears. CHOOSE YOUR ATTITUDE. With kids, what you put out is EXACTLY what you will get in return. Smile at each kid, make contact, connect...you will find your days will go much smoother.
john_m_burt said…
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Jenna said…
Sorry, posting from other sites is a violation of copyright law. Please keep all comments your own original thoughts! :)

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